The American Dream

I think I’m caught up in the American Dream. I think you might be too. How can we recognize a sickness when we all have the same disease? Faster, Faster, More, More, Now, NOW.

I have 1 wife, 1 child, 1 dog, 1 house with 1 mortgage, 2 cars and too many student loans. We go to college/get in debt so that we can get the job that will help us pay for the debt we add when we ultimately buy the house that we’re “supposed” to have. Thanks, Obama. I don’t know who told us that we have to live this way… or that this is THE way. Basically EVERY single one of my friends and family members are caught up in this. We talk about how we’re never home. We talk about taking care of our yards. We talk about how the car needs to be fixed. We talk about our jobs. We complain about our student loans. We never stop staring at our phones. We talk about what needs to be updated at our homes and how there just isn’t enough time or enough money. I look around and we all have the same disease… and as a result, we don’t think we’re sick because we look just like everyone else.

(This is a rant) We truly are missing something. I don’t think life was intended to be this way. We all feel it at times, but we don’t know how to escape. How can we escape when the students loans, car payment and mortgage need to be paid? After all, we have to work 40+ hours to pay for these things and MAINTAIN our lifestyle. I’d rather be exhausted from playing too hard with my son. Instead, I’m so tired from work and housework that I don’t have much to give. I’d rather be exhausted from adventuring with my wife, but instead we spend more time with our coworkers than each other. I’d rather surprise my friends with acts of kindness, but life gets in the way. How do we go back?

You might say, “Jeff, this is your conviction, let me enjoy my stuff.” My question simply is… Is your stuff (and what you need to do in order to keep that stuff) preventing you from actually enjoying the things that matter? For me, right now, the answer is YES. Let’s simplify.

Your friend,

Jeff M.
@thisjeffmartin

The 2014 Lessons

It’s strange how every year that passes I end up with a new definition of busy, tired, friendship, love, etc…

2014 was definitely an eventful year to say the least. I think it’s one of those years that Becky and I will look back at when we’re 70 and say, “Wow, remember 2014… first house, first baby… those were the days.”

It’s so strange to be living “in those days” without much perspective. But I think I’m learning a few things that are helping me….

1. Be more present: I’ve said this before, and I’ll need the reminder again tomorrow… but I want to show the people I’m with that I’m WITH them. I’m putting the phone down more. I’m looking people in the eye more. I’m literally telling myself “remember this moment” while it’s happening. Someday I think many of us will regret how much time we spent staring at a screen.

2. Love people for who they are: Something pretty special happens when you stop looking at someone for who they should or could be and just love them where they’re at. This is still difficult at times. The idealist/perfectionist in me wants things a certain way, but people are more important.

3. Negativity is whack: I think much of my 20s was characterized by me thinking that sounding somewhat negative and contrary was cool. I thought it helped me prove myself. I thought it helped people think I knew what I was talking about. Wrong. I just sounded negative and probably immature. Sure, there are lots of things in the world that are tough to see, hear, and know… But I don’t need to add to the noise. I often go back to the idea that if I’m bothered by everything and everyone, the problem lies within me.

4. I’m more selfish than I thought: Having a child is CURRENTLY rocking my world. I knew it would, but I couldn’t know how much. And even though I feel like I’m “losing certain pieces of my life,” what I’m gaining is far more valuable. When I see Becky loving this child when he’s screaming, pooping, and simply demanding SO much, I’m amazed at her selflessness. In these moments, I’m thankful for an incredible wife and more aware of my selfishness.

5. Seeking God even when I don’t feel like it: There are days, weeks, and months where I don’t get much out of my time with God. It feels dry. But I’m learning that I still need to seek Him during these times. It does something good for my soul when I place the focus on God regardless of my emotions.

6: I am who I am: Don’t get me wrong, this blog is proof that I have a lot to learn and am constantly in need of growth. What I’m saying is, God made me the way I am for a reason. The way I approach life, work, music, and relationships is part of who I was made to be. Sometimes I question certain things about myself, and I’m learning to embrace who God has made me to be… while still knowing there is work to do 🙂

Thanks for reading. Happy new year!

Jeff M
@thisjeffmartin

A Good Kind of Complicated

Hi friends. I remember just a few years ago when life was all about me. I lived in this Jeff-centered world, and life was simple.

But then I met an awesome girl.

And I bought her a ring.

And this girl wanted a dog.

And then we dreamed of owning our own home.

And then we were blessed with a child.

And life got complicated quick.

I find it interesting how we willfully add complications into our lives. Don’t get me wrong, these things are the best kind of complicated, but challenging nonetheless. The definition of complicated is consisting of many parts. Life was fairly easy when it only consisted of one part (Jeff). But now almost every day I’m faced with completely new types of challenges. The challenge to maintain my home. The challenge to put my wife’s needs before mine. The challenge to love Charlie when I’m so tired. The challenge to walk Henry when it’s cold and raining. The challenge to push beyond what I’m used to giving. These are not complaints; these are blessings. But I still need strength… And I need to remember that all of these things in my life are actually answered prayers.

My definition of busy and exhausted continues to evolve. But along with this, my definition of God’s faithfulness does too. I’m a lucky guy, and I wouldn’t trade any of my beautiful complications for anything.

Keep it real,

Jeff M.
@thisjeffmartin

One of those weeks // Hope

Hi friends. You ever have one of those weeks… I mean ONE OF THOSE WEEKS!

The type of week where (excuse my cybertoothing) your heater breaks, fridge goes crazy, you have a big fight with a close friend, electric panel is deemed a hazard, UPS loses your package, and newborn is sick/won’t stop crying… The type of week where you just feel like punching someone or hiding. That was my week.

Even in the midst of this, when I feel so helpless, so tired, so poor, so frustrated… I have hope.

When I put my hope in a new home or a relationship or money or even an amazing child, I will ultimately be let down. But when my hope is in Jesus, I can get through it… I can see the bigger picture. And I can see what truly matters.

I had one of the worst weeks that I can remember… But if I can find a way to fix my eyes on Christ, I can see things more clearly. I can find peace. I have hope.

I lost this one but still have victory (pompton lakes)

Here’s to a better week 🙂

Jeff M.

@thisjeffmartin

3 Weeks / More Present

It’s been three weeks since the birth of Charlie David Martin… And I have A LOT to learn. For example, during my first attempt at a diaper change, I put it on backwards and forgot to put pants on the little guy

But I’m amazed. I’m still floating a bit. For 9 months we prepare and then… He’s here. Everything changed.

I think, more than anything, this boy makes me want to be more present, to truly enjoy each moment, to be more committed to family and friends, to be immersed wherever I am and whoever I’m with. Life is happening. It’s moving so quickly. You’re creating some sort of legacy whether you like it or not (even if it’s a legacy of staring at your phone and not committing to anything).

I can’t believe how many moments I’ve allowed to be stolen by technology. It’s time to look up. My son is here, and even though I’m tired… he makes me want to be more awake… more present.

Keep it real,

Jeff M.
@thisjeffmartin

Don’t save it for the funeral

There is nothing groundbreaking about this post. You’ve heard this before… But I think we need a reminder (I do).

Don’t save those kind, encouraging, life-giving, life-changing, helpful, hopeful words for the funeral. I don’t mean to sound morbid. I just believe that we could breathe life into people more while they’re hear and when they need it.

Today is a good day to tell someone how much you love them, how awesome/gifted/unique/kind you think they are. No regrets.

Keep it real,

Jeff M.
@thisjeffmartin

Culture Protest

This past Sunday (at church) the topic was rest. The idea is that we basically suck at slowing down and that we often ignore the command to sabbath every week.

What if we began to resist the inclination of our frantic culture?

What if we turned off our phones for a couple hours EVERY day?
What if we looked people in the eye more?
What if our primary answer to “How are you?” was something different than “SO busy”?
What if we really enjoyed the people in our lives?
What if we were truly present wherever we are?
What if we took time to lay our burdens down before God and leave them there?

I think we avoid rest because in the quiet moments we are faced with ourselves. We stay busy, we turn the volume up, we’re critical of others because we don’t want to be faced with what’s inside.

Let’s start a culture protest. Let’s take it easy once a week. Let’s be more present with our friends and families. Let’s be ok with the type of reflection that brings change. More than anything, I think we’d be closer to God if we took time to slow down.

Keep it real.

Jeff M.
@thisjeffmartin

First House. First Baby. (calm before the storm)

It’s about to get real.

This Friday, Becky and I close on our first house. We’ll move out of our nice little town home that we’ve shared for our entire marriage. So many great memories. So many important lessons. So much growth. So much fun. So much puppy property damage… Now we’ll create new memories (and Henry can start destroying a new house).

And then…
In about 4 weeks, our first child is due. We can’t wait to meet him. We’re ecstatic. We’re a little scared. We have no actual idea what to expect, but we know that God is faithful.

In this new house with this new baby: We’ll mess up. We’ll learn. We’ll be exhausted. We’ll realize just how selfish we are (especially me). We know that these will be some of the best years of our lives. We know that we’ll look back and wish it didn’t fly by so fast. We’ll want to hit pause on so many moments.

But right now we’re experiencing the calm before the storm. Our house is packed. The car seat for the baby is going in the Altima this week. The moving truck is booked. Plans are being made. We are blessed beyond belief with supportive and helpful family & friends. So many thoughts and emotions, but we know that it’s good because we are at peace.

Here we go.

Jeff M.
@thisjeffmartin

Where You At?

If only more Christians (myself included) were half as passionate about Jesus as we are about…

Our sports teams
Our favorite bands
Our political stance
Our TV shows
Social Media
Coffee
Food
Exercise
Golf
Hunting/Fishing
Home Improvements
Music Gear
Nitpicking church

…I think we would change the world in a hurry. I really do. I don’t know about you, but I tell the world what I’m passionate about. My time and energy (AND money) goes to that which excites and inspires me. I’ve probably told more people about my top 10 favorite albums than I have about the hope I have in Jesus. I hear more of my friends talk about football season than I do about who they’ve shared Christ with. I’ve probably spent more money on guitars, amps and pedals than I have on caring for the poor. Obviously it’s great to enjoy music and sports and life, but let’s reconsider what we’re most passionate about. Seriously, take a minute and think about what you talk about most. Let’s consider what the world needs from us. Let’s consider what will make a difference. Let’s consider the condition of our hearts. The world needs Jesus.

How can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they haven’t heard?And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?And how can they preach unless they are sent? -Romans 10:14-15

Keep it real,

Jeff M.
@thisjeffmartin

That’s Someone Else’s Job.

Hi. It’s not necessarily my job to care for the poor, is it? (Proverbs 14)
Jesus isn’t asking me to sell everything and follow him, is He? (Mark 10)
When Jesus said to go into all the world and make disciples, that’s just for those crazy missionary types, right? (Matthew 28)
I’m not going to have to suffer and face rejection for His name; that’s someone else’s job. (Philippians 3)

If this is your mindset, I don’t know if you get it… Sometimes, I don’t think I get it.
Take a step back. If you were stranded on an island with just a Bible, never having gone to a modern Christian church, would you really think these things were someone else’s job? Would you honestly expect to see what you see in churches today? Would you honestly think being a Christian was so… easy?

Once again, it starts with you. It starts with me. It’s time to wake up. This is OUR job.

Keep it real.

Jeff M.
@thisjeffmartin